Saturday, 28 May 2011

A Sneak Peek at The Zechs Dictionary

Tautology: The scientific study of Mexican cooking.

Firewall: Literally an asbestos wall inside your computer that protects the hottest parts from catching on fire.  When people tell you that it’s unhealthy to spend too long on a computer, this asbestos is what they are referring to.

Oxymoron: A person who doesn’t know how to breathe.

Exfoliate: A substance – often shampoo or shower gel – which removes leaves and twigs from skin.

Friday, 20 May 2011

Kicking back on memory lane

Nostalgia, eh?  If you never heard about the Deadman/Ownswitch situation back when both guys were in SK, you're in for a treat.  If you were around the scene back then, well... sit back and remember one of the most hillarious incidents in esports history...

"For those who are interested in the situation between me and ownitsch, I am writing the story. When we were driving to Hamburg from Cologne (ownitsch was the driver), I had to smoke a cigarette because it’s a bit annoying to be stuck on the road when no cars are moving and everyone is waiting. I even opened a window so I won’t disturb anyone but ownitsch told me to stop smoking.I told him, “no, I need to smoke that cigarette!” He then stopped the car like crazy, stepped out of the driver’s seat, walked to the other side of the car, opened my door, and took my cigarette out of my hand (in bad manner). I walked off from the car and asked him why he was doing this, and kicked him in the body (because I can’t accept those bad manners from him, which he commited by removing my cigarette from my hand).

After we had arrived at the hotel, gues what happened? Ownitsch told me that I will be flying home tomorrow and told me to stay here. I was like “wtf” ownitsch, why are you doing this? At the hotel I was taking another cigarette to smoke because I couldn’t believe what he told me, then after I smoked I came to him and asked him if I will be flying home tomorrow. Guess what happened? He just gave the room card. I was like “wtf” again and went to my room but I couldn’t sleep because tomorrow was going to be the wc3l finals but ownitsch didn’t tell me anything (what time it was going to be etc). So I was knocking on the other players’ doors but nobody opened them and then after some time ownitsch appeared. I was asking him “what happened, where have you been?” Guess what? He told me to go eat and didn’t even explain anything to me. After that I was really thinking about flying home and told him that, but he was acting bad manned again and I was like “wtf!” He just closed the door to my face.

I told myself “enough of this shit” and left to the reception. So they called ownitsch’s room and asked him to come downstairs. There I could ask him again if I will be playing or flying back the next day, but he was acting bad mannered again so I kicked him in the face. After that, inso kicked me in the face and said something about my mother so I in return kicked him (with my leg). After that we left to the rooms to go to sleep. The day after ownitsch told me that I will be flying back and called the police, the police took me away from the hotel and I had to be outside. And then I had to go to the PC club to look for the address of the wc3l finals. By the time I arrived there I was off the team. Then I had to give an interview and had to pay for a flight from Hamburg to to Kalinigrad to Moscow for 400 euro."

--Deadman, formerly of SK.

Sunday, 1 May 2011

2010: the year esports begun... fuck off

A quote from a recent article on the NASL site:

"I should preface my article by noting that despite being a writer for the NASL,  I am and have long been an E-sports fan, watching IGN, GSL, and TSL in addition to the NASL this last week and the weeks before."

I have somewhat warmed to the NASL over recent weeks.  Their obvious shortcomings are overcome by having the most interesting roster of players (I guess the insipid means were justified by the ends, even if they did invent a pseudo team just to get round their own rules and allow Grubby in).  But the sentence above is what pisses me off about esports right now... okay, one of the things that pisses me off.  Watching GSL does not make you 'long an e-sports fan' - GSL started like six fucking months ago.

This constant ignorance of Western esports before the advent of SC2 is as infuriating as it is depressing.  Now, maybe this Brandon Garrett character was at CPL Babbages in 2001 or something and he just didn't think that sentence through - in that case I apologise - but it's indicative of a wider trend.  I don't want to sound like one of Tasteless' much-maligned Hipster Nerds, but Western esports has been going for a long time.  Just because it wasn't on the level of Korea doesn't mean it never existed.  Is the NASL (you know, the other one) invalid because it isn't La Liga or the Premiership?

Yes, we've probably never had it better than we do right now on a lot of levels, but one should never forget one's roots.  Then again, maybe it just annoys me because i wasted 10 years of my life on CS, WC3, WoW, SC2 and so on, but the fact that i was able to waste eight of those years writing about it that proves that this shit about esports just beginning  is just that: shit.